I told V I was unable to see O as it was too far away and also cost far too much and if she could recommend anyone else, a little nearer. She advised me to think about it. I then got an email shortly after, from O, who I had never talked to before who I never gave my email address to. O told me that she got my email address of V and that she heard I was looking for therapy and she would like to provide it. I told her it was too far away, also I did not want to drive into XX, it was also far too expensive. I really did not want to see her. She replied that she wanted to work with me and to make her an offer of how much I could afford. To cut a long story short, after many, many essay long emails from her explaining to me that she was the right therapist for me (and suggesting I read a chapter of hers about a client who had been ritually abused!) I agreed to seeing her.
My "therapy" started on the 28th of May and ended 12th of June. The 3 sessions I had with her were horrendous. Apart from the fact that she was extremely gushing and overpowering calling me sweetie and the like, she kept asking me to talk, kept asking me questions, when I cried told me to take her tissue, when I declined she got up, pulled it out and put it right under my nose (twice) which felt very intrusive. She continued calling me sweetie and told me I was "programmed". She told me I was involved in child prostitution when I expressed my fear of just becoming another project to her and ending up in a book. Because I was not wearing a watch, that too was a sign I had been abused. every session (3 sessions in total) was filled with dissociation jargon and not once did she work with the relationship instead the one time I did dare talk about my feelings to her she said "please dont see yourself as bad that is what your parents wanted you to believe". When I was feeling hopeless she asked "Why do you come here if you feel so hopeless?"
After the third session I felt very confused about her behaviour and anonymously wrote on a random forum for people in therapy about my experience with this woman, no names, no location, nothing was mentioned. Luckily people there were very helpful and told me that this didnt sound like safe therapy. In the morning of the 12of of June I wrote to V and told her that I decided not to work with O any more as we seemed to clash and if she could recommend someone else. V never replied, instead I got an email from O in the evening telling me the following:
Dear X
This may be a very difficult email for you to read. It has come to my attention that one of your personalities has been providing details of our therapy on a survivor's forum in a way that breaks confidentiality. I am so sorry that you and your counsellor personalities are having to hear this, if you did not know, as this will be something important to work on. Breaches of confidentiality are a difficult issue with DID but where there is a professional wish to enter this field it is even more significant.
I do not feel I am the right person to work with you on this important task .
I wish you just the best for the future.
What did she say? DID? My what? My "counsellor personalities" have written on a forum? I broke confidentiality? Did an attachment based therapist just end my "therapy" with her in an email?
How can someone within the first 3 sessions say that I have been programmed, that I have been involved in child prostitution, that I have been abused because I wear no watch, that I have DID, that I have counsellor personalities, that I have broken confidentiality when I wrote anonymously on a forum (and only she herself would have been able to make links between my forum post and our sessions - no one else) and then finish this "therapeutic" relationship in an email? As an attachment based therapist who should know all about endings?
How come V never replied to my email but I get an email from O instead finishing with me? Were they talking about me without my knowledge?
It is my belief that I had a close escape from an "organisation" that needed patients to be DID, ritually and or satanically abused.
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